Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
worst night to have a conscience
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
