At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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