A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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