How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I didn't shave. On purpose
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
God, I missed his penis.
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