My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Dicks are not precious.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
