dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
