I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
