We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
