chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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