the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax