My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.