Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you