Its about making memories worth repressing
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.