i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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