omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I stole a fireplace last night.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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