so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize