We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
