One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
