I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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