it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
