I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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