I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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