i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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