How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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