i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Found your dick twin last night
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
