if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
