you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
