what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My vagina is very pro this idea
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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