I need help removing her.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Randomize
