Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
