Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
