I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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