Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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