Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
