the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
