glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
