he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
