I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
