were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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