I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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