my mouth tastes like poor choices
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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