I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dignity is for republicans.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
