I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
