Acid is not a monday night drug
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
