I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
