what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
