Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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