there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
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Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
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My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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