I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Randomize
