i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I touched a dick in church today
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
