I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
