try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize