Apparently you make a good broom.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is premature balding
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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