i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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