I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
