took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
