I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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