Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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