I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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