Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
