it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
