Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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