i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize