My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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