im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
