remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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