The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
