And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize