Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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