Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
tonight lets celebrate not being married
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Sorry my hands just texted you
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
