You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she peed on how many people?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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