five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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