maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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