lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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