Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
